So there are about 5 days out of the month, where I just wish that I could just go hide in the mountains ... alone. Because I know that nothing good will ever come out of these 5 days. And usually I'm right (because I create it to be that way), and I'm right because I have just proven that no one wants to be with me. And even though in my non-emotional brain, this is so far from the truth and even laughable, it still lives like it is very true to me in my emotional PMS brain. grrrr ...
Right now, I am in the emotional PMS brain, where I really wish that I could have gone up into the mountains and hid out until my non-emotional brain comes back out from hiding but I chose not to do that and instead decided that I really just wanted to pick a nasty fight with my husband. (sorry babe, I really am sorry) I hate these fights, I end up feeling smaller than an ant because I've just dug myself into a huge hole and so ashamed. And I have to go back to him and tell him that I'm a PMSing trying to think from a very emotional cloudy brain woman, which wasn't working at all.
The thing is, I keep wondering if this is just me that happens to. If I am the only crazy woman for 5-7 days out of the month. If it is just my husband that has to listen to the rants 5-7 days out of the month. Or if there has been anyone else who has ever experienced this and how in the heck do you deal with it? How do you keep your husband from feeling like he wants to totally get rid of you during those 5-7 days out of the month? I am totally frustrated and ashamed now.
1 comments:
Hey, today I found you on Facebook, and subsequently found your blog. I had to laugh at this post. I have exactly the same problem. But for years I had no idea that it was PMS. I actually thought that I was just a B**ch all of the time. At least you recognize what the problem is.
Now, I have found that I use PMS as my excuse. I know that I am being a B, but there is no way I can stop it. And sadly, like you, my family takes the brunt of it.
Steve however, has learned to deal with it better. When he recognizes the problem, he sends me away. Not in a mean way, but he will take over whatever I'm doing, and will very kindly just say..."Why don't you go for a drive or something..." or suggest something else for me to do (go take a bath, go shopping, call a friend etc.) Strangely enough, it helps. It doesn't solve the problem for the entire week, but it makes me realize right then, how I'm behaving and lets me regroup. Sometimes just being alone for a few minutes, in peace and quite (a happy place) helps me to be a bit more kind.
I actually have a friend who was having those problems and went to the dr. and ended up with at prescription for a medication for PMDD. She says that it has helped a lot.
Anyway, don't feel like you're alone (maybe it's genetic, that could explain a lot ha,ha). I know there are a lot of us out there.
Take a deep breath, it only took Steve about 14 years of marriage to learn how to deal with me :-). Hopefully it wont take your hubby that long. I know that change in him, has helped us a lot. Good Luck!
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